No, Barbie, I Won't Stand Still

There is one thing that really bothered me about The Barbie Movie. Now let me get something straight, I LOVED The Barbie Movie. I saw it twice in the theater, dressed up, dragged my mother, grandmother and sons to see it. I have been singing its praises to anyone that will listen. It was visually stunning, told a beautiful women-centric story and made me laugh, cry and most importantly, it made me think. But along with all that good, there has been something that really got under my skin. A quote from the movie has been rattling around my head.

Come on Barbie, Let's Go... Break Glass Ceilings

There is a scene in the movie when Ruth, the creator of Barbie, played by Rhea Perlman, tells Barbie about life. During this conversation, she says something about motherhood that I have not been able to get out of my mind:

“We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back to see how far they’ve come.”

There are a few different ways this quote could be interpreted. Maybe it is about mothers paving the way for daughters to go further than they did. We each stand on the shoulders of the generation before us. It might speak to the sacrifice surrounding motherhood or the fact that becoming a mother forever changes you and binds you to another soul. I have thought about all these possibilities but no matter how I spin it, I just don’t like the quote. No, Barbie, I won't stand still.

I want to march forward, breaking glass ceilings and reclaiming rights until I am no longer breathing. I’m inspired by my mother, who, in her 60s, had the courage to leave a relationship, job and home in order to pursue happiness elsewhere. I want to live like my grandmother, who, in her 90s, is making new friends and trying new things.

The Awakening

As I navigate the beautiful yet treacherous path of motherhood, I often think of the book, The Awakening by Kate Chopin. This book tells the story of Edna, a wife and mother in the New Orleans area in the late 1800s. She feels oppressed by the confines of her place as a wife and mother. She rebukes societal expectations and starts to craft a life that is authentic to her. There is a line from the book that has crossed my mind a thousand times throughout the last few years: “I would give my life for my children, but I wouldn’t give myself.” While it remains up for debate whether The Awakening was meant to inspire independence or scare women into submission, I have always found it inspiring.

This is the antidote to the quote from Barbie. Instead of standing still, I hope that mothers continue to grow and push forward, reclaiming our personhood in a world that asks us to surrender it to motherhood. So, regardless of what Barbie and society ask of me, I won’t stand still. I will continue my momentum alongside my contemporaries and the next generation until I draw my last breath. I hope you join us.